Yzma's Story
by Yzma9962
Summary: What happens to Yzma after ENG and Kronk's New Groove? Yzma is not one to simply give up after two failures, not her! In this story, we find out that she may actually know a few Disney Villains from other movies. If she calls up one of them for help, will the two succeed in forming an unstoppable villain duo? Hilarious and fast paced, Yzma's Story shows the next phase in her life.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

"Stop that cat!" someone yelled.

Yzma was running as fast as her paws could carry her! She had been imprisoned in the Junior Chipmunks Camp and forced to learn the language of squirrels and other woodland creatures. This was NOT the best pastime for a woman that was trying to rule the empire.

So now you're saying, "Woman? I thought you just told me that this was a cat?" Let's just take a flashback here so things will make a little more sense. Grab the remote, and rewind. Okay let's move on. Well, actually backwards. Well actually… YOU GET THE POINT!

Okay, so Yzma was Emperor Kuzco's main advisor back when she was an old, skinny, and scary-beyond-all-reasoning human. She was supposedly in this bad habit of trying to run the South American empire of the Mayans behind his back. Well one normal day, Kuzco flat out decided that he would no longer allow this. Casually firing his "loyal" advisor, Kuzco did not know that he had just completely changed his life. Naturally, anyone would be upset if they found out they were fired from a job they really enjoyed. When Yzma heard this, she was shocked. She angrily stormed out of the room, after receiving a pink slip, and began plotting her revenge. Fortunately, she had a henchman, Kronk, who had witnessed this sudden turn of events.

Kronk was not the brightest penny in the bank. Muscular and tall, he was always doing something stupid or mixing things up. Poor guy! He really didn't know the difference between right and wrong, so he had two shoulder angels to help him with his decisions. In reality, one was an angel and the other was a demon. They were constantly arguing as only good and evil can.

"Wait a second!" Yzma stopped the show in her old, angry, and partially hoarse voice. Suddenly, an auditorium came into view and surprisingly the past events had been played out on a screen which is now visible from afar. "This is my recount, not Kronk's."

In a calm and clear voice, Kronk responded, "It doesn't always have to be about you. You'd think someone with your past would have learned that."

"My past?" Yzma said astonished. "Nobody knows about _my_ past. This narrator won't get on with it!"

Okay, okay! So you see…

"That's it!" Yzma hollered furiously. "I'm going to give you guys a speedy recount with a little Power Point presentation of my life."

Pulling down a professional looking sheet for slideshows, Yzma began, "Alright! After I got fired, I…"

"Hold it!" Kronk chimed in. "Two things here. One: where did you get a Power Point program? We don't have computers! Two: How do you _magically_ have a prepared slide show of your life _and_ a projector kit to display it on?"

"Kronk!" Yzma exclaimed. "It's a cartoon. Anything can happen."

"Well, actually it's a story, most likely typed on a laptop or other electronic device that won't be invented until years after this takes place and it can't be invented until electricity is harnessed which can't be done until Ben Franklin flies a kite in an electrical storm which can't be done until kites are invented which can't be done until the Chinese invent paper… Or did that already happen? Oh yeah! It's all coming together now."

"Allllright! Are you through?"

"…which can't be done until the country of China is established. I'm done."

"Okay, so Mr. Narrator, would you kindly restate what you said about Kronk not being that smart?"

But I thought you wanted me to stop with Kronk and get on with the recount?

"Ohhhh for heaven's sake! The point is Kronk is not always that dumb! He can be smart!"

Okay, so Kronk is not always that dumb. He can be smart and…

"I just said that you idiot!"

I wasn't finished.

"GRRRRRRR!"

Kronk is smarter in some things that most people wouldn't pay attention to, but unfortunately that causes him to be slightly absentminded. There! Let's get on with this!

Anyway, Yzma decided that she would…

"Hold it! I didn't get this Power Point set up for nothing!"

That's it! Yzma: do your presentation! Kronk: take five and watch Yzma! Audience: sit back, and enjoy the story! And please don't leave us. It gets better. Hit it Yzma.

"Okay!

"So after I got fired, I went down to my secret lab, which is cleverly hidden in the wall and can be accessed by pulling the correct tusk, which functions as a lever, on a strange looking elephant/warthog statue. (We see a picture of the secret lab statue.) I decided to poison Kuzco with something I found (we see a picture of a bottle filled with pink fluid). We had a fake celebration dinner. (A picture of a Mayan dinner table that is full of food is shown.) Kronk got the poison mixed up and accidentally turned Kuzco into a llama. (The picture of the unconscious llama is shown.) I asked Kronk to dispose of the body and he didn't quite get rid of it. The body was in a bag and landed on the back of a peasant's cart. By the way, the peasant's name is Pacha. You might need that later. The peasant left town. (A picture of Pacha walking across the bridge is seen.) Kronk lied to me about Kuzco being dead and as soon as I found out we both went out to get them. (A picture of Kronk carrying Yzma in the backpack tent is shown.) We chased Pacha and the llama back to the palace where I was turned into a cat towards the end of an epic battle over my chemistry set. (A picture of Yzma's potion collection is shown.) To my displeasure, Kuzco drank my human potion and was turned back into his emperor self and I was sent with Kronk to the Junior Chipmunk Camp which teaches children to respect woodland creatures. (A picture of Yzma the cat holding an acorn is shown.) That's all. (A picture of Yzma in a bikini desperately trying to tan on the beach pops up.) AHHHHHHHH! KROOOOOOONNNKKK!"

"It wasn't me! Kronk yelled defensively, "I don't know how to use a computer!"

"Oh well," Yzma said regretfully, "I knew I should have deleted those pictures anyway."

"By the way, Yzma, before we move on, how are you a human right now?"

"Well, if we can ever get this story going, you'll find out."

"Let's go narrator!" Kronk called.

I'm ready when you guys are!

Yzma demanded, "Commence story! Pull the lever, Kronk!"

Kronk leaned to the right and pulled the armrest of his seat at an upward angle. As soon as he did this, the comical sound of a spring releasing was heard. Yzma was suddenly thrown out of her chair and out a door with a sign above reading "EXIT." Kronk chuckled.

"WRONNNNNNNNNNG LEVERRRRRRR!" Yzma yelled as she sailed through the air. Returning to the room in an aggravated mood and with small red tickets reading "ADMIT ONE" all over her, she complained, "Why do we even have that lever?" She stormed over to Kronk's chair, and yanked the left armrest and the story immediately began.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: ****I do have this story partially completed, but it is not nearly as far as it will be going right now. Also, I will not be able to get to the Internet again until at least May 31****st****, probably later. So those of you that are following this story, please try to understand the delay. I apologize for this.**

Chapter 2

The lavender colored cat dashed away from her pursuers as fast as her paws could carry her. She had been in the Junior Chipmunk Camp for three endless summer months and had somehow become the new mascot of the camp replacing an acorn that had been the old one. Kronk, her henchman back when she was human, was mostly responsible for bringing her into this nightmare of squeaks, chirps, and other woodland noises. All Yzma ever wanted was to rule the entire empire. Her last plan to take over had been foiled by her clueless henchman, and somewhere along the way from then and now she had decided that she was through with him. As soon as she had made that decision, she knew that it was time to make an escape. She really had no plan, but thought she might be able to steal back to the palace and make it into her secret lab. Maybe then she would have things a little bit more figured out.

"She's getting away!" one of the staff members behind Yzma shouted.

Suddenly, from out of nowhere, Kronk pounced on the cat. Yzma was caught! Unfortunately, Kronk had long since forgotten that this feline in particular was his former boss Yzma. Standing up, he tried to subdue the animal in cat language.

"Meowsie, mew, meow," Kronk began, "me meeeewww meeee owwww me…"

"Shut up, you fool!" the cat yelled in a squeaky, angry voice. "It's me! YZMA!"

"Now wait a minute here," Kronk said, "if you're Yzma, then that means that ALL this time, you've been trapped here at camp, and that…"

"KRONK! Listen up! I'm through with this camp! I'm through with all these STUPID little brown and green outfits that you constantly adorn me in! I'm through with all this pointless woodland talk! And finally, I'M THROUGH WITH YOU!"

Kronk was surprised. He had totally forgotten that this cat was Yzma. Besides that matter, he had no idea that Yzma hated Junior Chipmunk Camp; everyone loved the adorable, innocent, cute purple cat who magically showed up one day. Now Yzma wanted to get rid of him? He was beginning to break down, but luckily his shoulder consciences popped up.

On Kronk's right shoulder, an angel, who was a smaller version of Kronk with a white robe and golden halo, appeared. "Easy big guy," he began, "take a deep breath, and just tell her you're sorry for ignoring her."

"I told you in the last show not to listen to that guy." A devil, who was also a smaller version of Kronk but with a red demon costume on, came into view on Kronk's left shoulder. "Just drag the cat back to the camp, and throw her in a cage for the rest of her life. It's brilliant, brilliant, BRILLIANT, I tell you, genius I say!"

"What?" Kronk asked. "I thought that was Yzma's line."

"It is," the demon said. "I just thought it was an AWESOME evil villain line."

"What is there that's so "brilliant" about evil?" the angel questioned.

"Haha!" the demon pointed at the angel. "I knew you would say that! And because I'm so AWESOME, I have a prepared list on how evil is better than good." He pulled out a scroll from thin air and began to read. "Listen up big guy, I got several reasons why evil is better and thus you should listen to me. Number one: look at that guy! He's wearing a dress!"

"Now wait a minute!" the angel hollered. "We've ALL seen that reason before. And anyway, the narrator himself said that it was a robe. He never said this was a dress!"

"STOP!" Kronk yelled. "You guys always confuse me! Please, go somewhere else!"

"As you wish," the angel said as both he and the demon vanished.

"STOP! PAUSE THE SHOW!" Yzma called out from the auditorium causing the story to freeze… AGAIN! "Hi there again," Yzma climbed up into view. "I just wanted to remind our audience that this story is actually about me. Not Kronk! ME! Not Kronk! Me! Yzma! Okay, I'll try to hold off until chapter four. I'll really try. Resume!" The show once again began.

Yzma had been staring at Kronk for the past three minutes. Unknown to Kronk, the shoulder angels were only visible and audible to the one on whose shoulders they were on. "Kronk!" Yzma yelled! "Are you okay? I'm trying to make an epic evil villain escape here!"

"Huh?" Kronk looked at the cat. "Oh! Right! Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…."

"Reeeeoooooowwww!" Yzma jumped up and clawed Kronk just before running off faster than her legs could carry her.

**Author's Note: ****By the way, for those of you that are reading this PLEASE review. I will not be encouraged to return to this story if I do not receive any reviews. I accept anonymous reviews, for those of you who may not be registered with this site. Thanks!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Here's the next chapter in Yzma's Story! Unfortunately, guys, this story is still on hold. This is merely a chapter that I had typed up months ago. Enjoy!**

Chapter 3

Yzma had run without stopping for twenty full minutes. As a cat, she was able to go ten times as fast as she could back in her, ahem, "younger" years when she was a high school track and field champion. Finally, she was inside the palace standing at her now dusty statue of a strange animal that looked like a cross between a warthog and an elephant. Yzma jumped as high as she could and just missed the right lever. Giving herself a ten feet head start this time, Yzma ran to the statue and leaped onto the right lever. Unfortunately, she was not heavy enough to push the lever down. She then climbed on top of the head of the animal and leaped onto the edge of the lever which finally gave way and caused the wall to spin.

"Please remain seated and keep your paws and whiskers in at all times," a voice said as Yzma found herself strapped into a roller coaster car. The car zoomed down a steep hill and rushed through arches that looked like cats with open mouths! Gaining speed, the roller coaster shot into three sharp turns. Yzma did nothing but hold onto the safety bar and frown, refusing to even watch the track. At last the ride came to an end and the sudden stop released the safety bar and shot Yzma into a lab suit which did not fit her. Yzma scurried out of it and ran over to her potion table.

The potion table was a little on the empty side. Actually, it was flat out vacant! There was nothing on it but one cob web.

"Crazy emperors!" Yzma yelled in disgust. "That jerk-face peasant Pacha tipped over my entire chemistry set! It cost me an entire year's earnings of emperor advisor salaries too! I'll have to be sure and return him the favor later on! If I only had one potion I could rearrange the DNA extract inside and make it into the potion that will transform me back into my beautiful self." Yzma banged the stone floor in a fury for five minutes.

When she finished her fit, Yzma looked around her. Water was dripping from a pin hole that she had told Kronk to patch months ago. He had forgotten of course. She could see the roller coaster car being lifted by a claw that would return it to its secret cubby hole behind the secret lab entrance for the next journey down. She looked at her empty vials and test tubes that scattered the floor around the barren table. Some were cracked, others completely shattered, but the more expensive ones were still in one piece. But over in the corner was one bottle that was still corked and full. Even better: it was labeled! How many times she and Kronk had discussed labeling the potions Yzma could not remember. By some chance, however, this potion was labeled. It didn't really matter how it was labeled, although it was most likely one of the first ones she had started to label. She always gave up after potion number fifteen. Yzma crawled over to the corner and rolled it into the dim lighting using her paw. On it was a picture of a flea.

"I'll turn him into a flea," Yzma had begun on her first ever plot to destroy Kuzco, "a harmless little flea. And then, I'll put that flea in a box, and then put that box inside of another box and then I'll mail that box to myself. And when it arrives, AHAHAHAHA! I'LL SMASH IT WITH A HAMMER!"

Yzma couldn't help but smile whenever she thought of this ridiculous and roundabout plan. It really was pointless and costly! How on earth would she be able to afford the postage if she was jobless? It didn't matter now. What did matter was that she was going to rearrange the genetic code in this potion. And then after that, she would connive yet another evil plan to destroy Kuzco. More than likely, she would have to find help. This time, however, she would call on professional help: someone who knew how to be evil.

Rushing around the room and gathering all the tools necessary for a genetic recombination, Yzma began to get really excited. She could not wait until she was human again! But then something occurred to her. She suddenly realized that no one had ever succeeded at a genetic potion recombination. She waved the thought off and started working.

Thirty minutes had passed by and Yzma believed she had succeeded! After all, she had just done everything she could to the flea potion. With thoughts about what would happen if she hadn't succeeded (explosions, time paradoxes, teleportation without a destination or disintegration), Yzma drank the potion. There was no poof. Nor was there a load of pink sparkles. Nothing happened. Well nothing aside from the fact that Yzma was now her human self again.

Yzma looked down at herself. She was a human, wearing the exact same outfit that she had worn when she was first turned into a cat. Quickly, she pulled her lab suit over what she was wearing and laughed in triumph using her old human voice. "AHAHAHAHAHAHA! I win! YZMA IS BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCCKKK!"

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	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: HELLO! IT'S YZMA9962 HERE WITH ANOTHER CHAPTER IN YZMA'S STORY! Read on!**

Chapter 4

"Okay, let's see," Yzma began after her triumphant scream. "Now that I'm back, what do I do? Ohhh. I know… I'll find help. To the secret closet!"

Yzma ran behind the final hill on the roller coaster and opened a door, which was cleverly hidden in the stonework. She leaped into the extremely messy closet that she had intended to clean right after she labeled her potions. Yzma rummaged through everything at the front and looked for anything that could be of use to her. "Hmm. Kronk's soccer ball. No! Let's see. Oh! I was wondering where my brownie recipe was! Don't need it now." Yzma continued to talk to herself as she dug through everything and gradually threw it aside making the closet messier than ever. "A script to 'Kronk's New Groove.' Wasn't I supposed to sail over to the capital to film that? Oh well! Ummmm. Oh! Plans for the new roller coaster dated… Twenty years ago?! I must be getting old! Ehh… who am I kidding?! I'm the youngest woman ever! Anyway… What have we here? Some sparkly gravy boat? What's it say? 'Warning: do not rub unless you have three highly unlikely and impossible wishes that can only be solved by a gigantic miracle or a big blue genie who always complains about itty bitty living space.' Won't need that! Ah ha! What is this?"

Yzma was holding a large yet thin package that is usually used for picture frames.

"Well. I wonder what this could be. A note! And it says…" Yzma had to squint to read the small, crude handwriting. "'Yzma, my plan to get rid of Snow White failed because of "the most powerful thing ever: love." I decided that your plans are also always failing and you could probably use this since I have decided to retire and kick it at the Evil Villains Retirement Resort. You can ask it just about anything, but it prefers a question that rhymes. Don't ask why, that's just the way it is. I'm sure that you won't read this until it has been in your horrendous closet for quite some time so you'll need to make sure it gets a good five minute soak in the creepiest part of your secret lab. Of course that could be your closet. Anyway, I hope you use it for the most dastardly cause your little mind can think of. Enjoy it with every ounce of your evilness being self. Thanks, The Evil Queen. P.S. You really should label your potions. P.P.S. I just may emerge from retirement and wreck havoc on whoever it was that forgot to give me a name! That is, if the supreme evil court can't help me. That's all.'

"Well, whatever this is, it certainly sounds interesting. I think I'll open it," Yzma concluded.

Yzma practically touched the tape and it gave way because the package was so old. She then peeled back the three cardboard flaps that concealed the package. Yzma peeked inside to see a wad of bubble wrap that appeared to be concealing something that had an oval shape to it. She removed the packaging and pulled out a mirror.

"A mirror?" Yzma exclaimed. "What does she think I will do with a mirror? Maybe if I give it its five minute creepy soak it will become clearer. The very back of my closet should do."

Yzma climbed over a mountain of her belongings and finally placed the mirror at the very back of the closet. She then hurried back over everything and shut the door. When five minutes had passed, she opened it and began her journey back in. At the back of the closet, Yzma retrieved the mirror and brought it outside.

"So now what?" she asked the mirror. Then to herself she said, "Well the letter said to ask it anything but that it preferred a rhyme. So I guess I'll do that. Ahem.

_Mirror, mirror in my hand_

_Show me villains beyond this land._

"I guess I should wait a few seconds."

To Yzma's surprise, a green masklike face appeared and stared at her. It then vanished and showed a hundred images of people moving and talking. Each frame was in a place completely foreign to Yzma, but one thing was clear about every person that was shown: they were all evil villains. One in particular, however, grabbed Yzma's attention. She concentrated on that frame, and it slowly filled the entire mirror.

"Hold up!" Yzma yelled from the auditorium. The show halted. "Hello everyone. I'm sorry to stop you again but I just need to clear things up here. Alright. So you see the Evil Queen and I were friends ever since the EVC (Evil Villains Club) was started WAY too many years ago for me to attempt to count. Anyway, she and I were fantastic friends and we constantly were sharing our evil experiences. She eventually told me about her plan to give her niece or stepdaughter or whatever a poison apple that would put her to sleep forever and could only be broken by true love's kiss. I told her it sounded great but she really should think about reconsidering. After all, that true love's kiss is a real killer. I mean come on! Look at all this!" Yzma pulled out a clipboard and began going over a list. "The Frog Prince, the Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty! They all have one thing in common besides little magical fairies or witches. What's that? THE SPELL IS ALWAYS BROKEN BY TRUE LOVE'S KISS! I mean seriously? Come on! Talk about cliché! I offered her one of my potions but she refused because she was afraid I'd send her the wrong one because they weren't labeled. So anyway, she and I were good friends and she wanted to give me the mirror that she never used for anything better but to ask if she was the prettiest woman in the land."

"Uhh, Yzma?" Kronk chimed in. "The Evil Queen is on the phone and wants to talk to you."

"Put her on speaker phone," Yzma replied.

Kronk pressed the speaker button and the Evil Queen began talking in a voice muffled by the phone. "Hey! You know what?! We are really good friends and you really need to get over that fact that I wouldn't listen to you! I mean, I'm the one that should be mad because it was ME who had to suffer the defeat. But no! You're up here acting like I just shot the full moon out of the sky and that it just meant everything to you and you loved it so much and so much enjoyed seeing it and wanted to make it a full moon forever but…"

"Evil Queen, this full moon example thing is really way too long, I don't think…" Yzma was cut off by the Evil Queen.

"Yeah! Whatever! The point is I don't get why you keep stopping that show of yours to tell the audience something they probably already know! Show of hands! How many people already know who Snow White was? You see!? Lots! And you won't ever give them a chance to say they already know something so that you can save your breath and Power Point time explaining everything that they already know!

"Evil Queen! I was mainly explaining that we were friends and then I just got…"

"Carried away! That's what! You've always been like that! I first noticed it I don't know when, but I'm sure this audience noticed it when you did the whole "that box inside of another box" thing with that flea and then…"

"Well you know what? You could just plan for the obvious every now and then! Come on! Who is NOT going to suspect an old lady with a wart on her nose just suddenly showing up at their kitchen sink window ready to…"

"Yzma, shut up! The girl was a dimwit! I can't believe that she…"

Kronk yelled to Yzma, "We've got a second caller on line two! They're aggravated with the current service."

"When did we even get a phone?! Yzma yelled to Kronk as the Evil Queen continued to blabber in the background.

Kronk shoved the phone in Yzma's face and turned the speaker on. "It's for you!" he yelled above all the commotion.

"Yzma, would you and the Evil Queen shut up?!" Medusa from the Rescuers called out. "Snoops and I are trying to watch this show! GET ON WITH IT! Can't you control a simple show?! How hard is it to just every now and then…" Medusa began running her mouth alongside the Evil Queen's.

"Call on line three from someone called Lady Tremaine!" Kronk screamed above all the racket.

"What now?!" Yzma exclaimed loudly.

"Hello, Lady Tremaine here, the Evil Stepmother," Lady Tremaine began calmly but loudly, "I just wanted to know if you're going to be continuing the show that I can't remember where you left off on. Wasn't it something about a lady from Devil's Bayou trying to get a huge diamond? Or was that the other channel? I CAN'T TELL BECAUSE THERE'S SO MUCH RACKET!"

"How do I get myself into these things?" Yzma asked desperately.

"I would be the woman from Devil's Bayou and you must have been watching my movie, The Rescuers, which is really quite eccentric…" Medusa yelled.

"All you ever think about is yourself, Yzma, and I know that's part of the evil villain code to be selfish and all, but the EVC says that you should be considerate to other villains because…" The Evil Queen continued to critique Yzma.

"What on earth?! Slam a glass slipper on the floor!" Lady Tremaine screamed!

"Oh my gosh! These spinach puffs are amazing!" Kronk said.

The phone rang yet again and Kronk, with a mouth full of spinach puffs, answered it. "Hello?"

A man with a dark voice was on the other end. "Yes, I, Jafar from Aladdin, was just wondering what all the commotion is about? Could someone please explain?"

"Well, uhhh, we're kind of busy here. I'll have to put you on speakerphone," Kronk explained.

"Kronk! Noooooo!" Yzma yelled over three loud and angry voices.

As soon as Jafar heard all the commotion, he too began to yell. "What in the name of a grain of sand is going on? I just wanted to know what all the commotion is about? SOMEBODY EXPLAIN!"

The Evil Queen began to fill him in as she continued to point out all of Yzma's flaws. "Well that idiot "best friend" of mine is having a show and I called to tell her that she was wrong for talking so bad and down and angry about me and so she started…"

"Get your spinach puffs right here!" Kronk advertised. "They're right out of the oven."

"I would adore a spinach puff!" Lady Tremaine called out. "I try to get my scullery maid to make them but she always fails and then makes up some pitiful excuse. She is by far the worst…"

"I absolutely hate spinach puffs! They are sickening!" Jafar said.

"Yeah," the Evil Queen replied, "well maybe if you would keep listening to me you'd develop a taste for one! As I was saying, that idiot, Yzma, is now taking so many calls, that she…"

"Now wait a moment here Evil Queen," Yzma jumped back into the conversation. "Kronk is the one that keeps answering every single call we're getting not ME!"

"I don't care who did it! It's your fault! If you hadn't started this mess in the first place we wouldn't be…" The Evil Queen began again!

"This place is worse than Snoops trying to control a little girl!" Medusa yelled. "And that is a horrible sight to see!"

"Last call for spinach puffs! They're hot and guaranteed to help you calm down!" Kronk broadcasted.

"Kronk! Do something!" Yzma pleaded.

"Well actually you are the one that ended up firing me in the first place, not that I was ever paid or anything, so I really don't think that I should…" Kronk responded.

"Does anybody even know who's talking right now?" Lady Tremaine asked.

"Well I'm talking to the Evil Queen," Jafar called.

"I'm talking to Jafar," the Evil Queen responded.

"I'm trying to get Yzma's attention about a diamond and chemistry combo sale on black Friday that we should attend," Medusa yelled.

"I didn't know that," Yzma replied with sudden interest. "Where is it?"

"It's about one hundred and seventy miles south of where you're located. I could pick you up in the swamp mobile if Snoops will watch Penny." Medusa communicated over everything.

"That's BRRRRRRILIANT!" Yzma yelled back. "When should we meet?"

"Yzma, you are aware that I am still talking to you aren't you?" the Evil Queen said.

"You know what Evil Queen, I don't want to hear it right now! Go talk to someone else!" Yzma shouted.

"Evil," Jafar called, "what was that about a sale on gravy boats?"

"I HAAAATE GRAVY!" Yzma protested!

"This doesn't concern you, Yzma!" the Evil Queen said.

"Ten seconds ago it did!" Yzma protested yet again.

"Yeah?" the Evil Queen began. "Well you said you didn't want to hear it! Now Jafar, as I was saying, the sale is on black Friday and it starts at…"

"Oh boy! I just found out there is going to be a spinach puff baking contest! I've got to sign up!" Kronk announced.

"Oh, Kronk?" Lady Tremaine called. "Would you be able to give my maid your spinach puff recipe?"

"Sure thing," Kronk replied, "but not until after this contest which is also on black Friday. And only if you share one recipe with me in return."

"In that case, I think you will LOVE my maid's pie recipe! It is a combination of over twenty pie flavors blended to perfection."

"Sounds great!"

"No, Medusa," Yzma said, "I don't think three in the morning is good because I'm going to be up late. How about five in the morning?"

"Splendid!" Medusa responded. "I'll be there as soon as I can! And remember how much it will be…"

"So whatever made you so interested in gravy boats?" the Evil Queen asked Jafar.

"Actually," Jafar answered, "it began not too long ago when a friend of mine from the Arabian black market, Gazeem, told me about an ancient but true legend of…"

**TWO REALLY, REALLY LONG HOURS LATER…**

** "**THAT'S ENOUUUUUUUUGH!" Kronk yelled surprisingly bringing foreign silence to the auditorium. "Look, we've been putting this show on hold for hours! And I'm sure the audience agrees that it is PAST time to find out what Yzma saw on the mirror."

"What mirror?" everyone but Kronk said at the same time.

"Do you see?" Kronk said. "Even Yzma has forgotten."

"I told you that she was…" the Evil Queen started.

"Evil, shut it!" Kronk firmly stated. "Now everyone, hang up!"

And just like that four dial tones could be heard from all four open lines.

"Thank you Kronk!" Yzma exclaimed. "I thought we'd never get going again."

"My pleasure," Kronk kindly said.

"But you just wait until I get back from that black Friday sale with Medusa, it is going to be so riveting and…"

"COMMENCE SHOW!"

Finally, the show resumed.

**Author's Note: Thank you for reading! Please review! It's the only thing that will keep the story going. Thanks!**


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